Carbon Titanic coal
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Titanic coal.
This is actual genuine totally certified in triplicate authentic coal recovered from the RMS Titanic on the bottom of the ocean. At least so says the certificate of authenticity:

Of course, if you read it more carefully, it doesn't actually say where the coal was recovered from, only that it was recovered during this expedition. It doesn't say whether the expedition took a detour to western Pennsylvania on their way to the bottom of the ocean.

But it's probably real: The company is real, and they really did salvage many objects from the Titanic. Here's an article about how tasteless the whole thing is. After reading that, if you still want to order some, you can:

The certificate says Jane Billman on it because this was a present for my wife, who is a Titanic fan. When I found it covered in dust at the back of a closet, I decided that the heavy responsibility of being a conservator of a genuine Titanic object should pass to the Periodic Table Table.

Source: RMS Titanic, Inc
Contributor: Theodore Gray
Acquired: 21 January, 2003
Text Updated: 11 August, 2007
Price: $30
Size: 1"
Purity: >85%