|Ear weights for dogs.
Oh God, this is so wrong on so many levels. Let's start with some background. People breed dogs for many reasons. In the past it was mainly to create animals with useful characteristics, such as the ability to swim out to retrieve ducks, or burrow through narrow tunnels to catch moles. But then the inevitable tendency of certain people to over-organize things took hold. People started breeding dogs mainly to show them to other people. Breed "standards" started sprouting all sorts of ridiculous curlicues, like the exact shape and direction of the ears. Some dogs are supposed to have ears that hang down, others are supposed to have ears that point up, and woe unto the dog with wrong-pointing ears.
And what do you do if your should-be-down-pointing dog's ears don't point down enough? You cheat of course! And that's where this product comes in. Tungsten is very heavy, so it stands to reason that if you, as recommended by the instructions, apply some sticky wax to the inside of your dog's ears and then sprinkle this powder on, the weight will pull the poor mutt's ears down, making you more likely to win a ribbon at the local dog show run by judges who aren't up on the latest dog show cheating technology.
Technology in service to cheating at things that deeply don't matter! What will they think of next? Well, I'm sure if they ever invent anti-gravity powder it will be sold for use on should-be-up-pointing dogs.
Source: eBay seller seedogshop
Contributor: Theodore Gray
Acquired: 27 December, 2008
Text Updated: 13 January, 2009